While Watching You
by Goth Kouichi
Summary: Analyzing Lloyd's behavior is not is an easy task or at least it looks like it. Mentions of Harem, mainly Lloyd x Genius. Zelos' PoV


I do not own Tales of Symphonia

Looking for beta

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It's not the first time I do this.

It's not exactly a habit either.

It started by mere curiosity. Now it's a whole investigation, a research, an experiment or whatever is this supposed to be called, I've never been good with this kind of stuff. I'm too busy being beautiful. Anyways this whole 'watching-to-understand-him' thing that I've been doing it's for me own sicken satisfaction. Although I don't do it as often as I used to. Today was because I notice that lustful look, but with also another emotion that I wasn't able to decipher. I was left alone before I was able to.

So here I am once again in this two-floor room, wrapped on a brown cloak to keep myself warm on the top peeking from the edge so I can take a look of what's below. It's not exactly spying, because he has known about it since the very beginning and he didn't complained about it, he even told me that I'm free to stare as much as I like. Only to stare, he forbidden me to come close or join in. I'm not into that bud so don't worry about it, as incredible as it sounds. I may be an awful flirt and enjoy swooning women, but I'm really a loyal person when it comes to the person that I've fallen in love with. Even if I'm not that person's one and only. Even if it means I have to share him with the others. I still manage to have a part of him.

Yeah, it's a him. The only I'm actually talking about is the only and only Hero who joined the Chosen of Sylvarant for the World Regeneration and untied both worlds, the name giver of the New Tree. Lloyd Irving.

My 'watching-sessions' started around a year after a joined the group.

While I'm waiting for him to show up I trail on my thoughts of who is it going to enter with him this time. For most people the see Lloyd as a great man and true hero, even after the misunderstandings during Ratatosk's awakening. So they wouldn't even imagine that he actually is a perverse person.

No, not really perverse. Since we all agreed to it, even the Professor who I'd never thought that would join in this kind of thing, obviously me and Sheena wouldn't think twice about it, we're kind of screwed up and Colette would do anything to make Lloyd happy so it'd be obvious of her too. Who would of thought that we would be all Lloyd's lovers?

Harem is the word? I'm not sure if I should use it because it's a women only thing. C'mon I'm a guy so... Orgy is out of the question, it's only Lloyd with one of us at the time.

Regal is not part of it. When I asked Lloyd the reason, he only shivered and said something like 'It's like doing it with my dad'. It made me laugh, a lot. When I mentioned that the Professor was also quite older than him, he only ducked his head and whispered to me that she was near so told me to shut up in a panicky voice. Oh yes what manners of mine, you should never discuss a woman's age. Specially one that knows how to kick the way that she does, just remembering makes me shiver. We just settled that because she's hot so her age doesn't count. Presea wasn't part of it as well, not because she looked a long younger in consideration of actual age, the seemed to be only one who wasn't under Lloyd's charm-spell. I envied her sometimes for that. And the brat- I mean Genius?

He only smiled. with a slight glint of sadness.

I guess he wouldn't dare to hurt him. He was just a little kid after all and innocent in every way.

When I first saw him with Colette I thought of it as gentle. He didn't speak while they were having sex, but he penetrated her gently, as if he had a porcelain doll in his hands. He didn't touch her and kept his face pressed against her neck. It was sweet to watch though they didn't kiss. that is until they finished. Either the moment he was done he turned around and fell asleep or said that he was going to take a bath, leaving immediately. Colette didn't looked offended or hurt, none of us did when he did it. It happened every time. I commented that it was because he's not the type that likes to cuddle.

With Sheena was different. He usually uses her big breasts to pleasure himself, and I can't blame him. Who wouldn't actually take advantage of those huge things? He does speak a little 'with her, but it's mostly a harsh 'shut up' while Sheena complains that she wants him somewhere else that's not her boobs. He's always looking up the ceiling when he's with her.

It ends up with the usual 'I'm-done-so-I'm-not-interested-in-you' attitude.

With the Professor it doesn't always end up good. She's bossy you see. So there are times when the two of the end up fighting instead of screwing and I feel sympathy for my bud during those moments. He's hard, frustrated and Miss Refill can't seem to shut up, so what else can a horny guy do than to explode?

But when they manage to have sex it was the way she commanded it. Lloyd didn't actually complained during that time but I could sense he's uneasiness. Her being older meant that simple fucking wouldn't just satisfy her. There was foreplay involved, she encourage dirty talk but Lloyd didn't utter a word the whole time. He's eyes are always closed as he looks to the side so he doesn't have to face her while she rides him.

I don't see the need to explain how it ended now do I?

I actually had the balls to ask him if he really liked doing it with her because of the expressions he used sometimes with the Professor.

So alike.

I have no idea what he meant with that.

Oh yes, of course I can't forget to mention his moments with the Great Zelos Wilder now can I?

I was pretty surprised that when we decided to try out same gender sex he actually volunteer to be the bottom. Not that it would have been the other way around to begin with, I only give hunny. But since it was not only his first time with a guy but mine as well he had to do a little research first. I laughed all the time at his flustered face as we read books and asked random people in some parts of town that were uhm... kind of looked down upon by the rest of the townsfolk. Of course I was smart enough to suggest that we should use a disguise. It wouldn't be good if the Chosen of Tethe'alla and Lloyd the Great were seen in those kind of places.

Getting to the point, our first time was kind of awkward. He obviously felt pain, we were told that he would no matter what method we used so he had to cope with it. We always do it with his back facing me. I tell him I want to see him but he refuses. He rarely let's me kiss him. I have to whine until he complies with a quick kiss and turns again. I can't touch him either which it's so unfair, I love him so I want to feel every part of him. But he just won't let me and I'm afraid if I keep insisting he won't let me do this with him anymore. That he won't let me love him anymore.

I guess that's why none of us complains in the end. Because we don't want him to tell us to stop loving him. We know we would never say such a thing, that he love us the same. But that little voice that contradicts it just doesn't seem to shut up.

It's own fault for thinking that way anyway.

I completely left out Martha and Emil, but those two were always into each other so there's no point in mentioning them.

I almost jumped when I heard the door closing. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I wasn't able to hear it the first time when it was opened it that gave me quite the fright.

The first thing I do is to trail my eyes on him. He's become so handsome during this past five years. He still uses those stupid red clothes from time to time, but today he's wearing forest green. It's nice to see him in another color, although I'm going to see his tanned skin pretty soon so clothes aren't important at the moment.

As I finally take my eye of him I actually notice the one who's next to him and I can feel my eye widen.

There's no long golden hair reaching below the waist or that exclusive clothing form Mizuho or that wise adult stare.

Instead his hair is light silver and doesn't it even reach his shoulders except for the small braid that he one day decide to let grow and now it reaches the half of his back. His clothes are unique but still you can tell is the type that warlocks use and he's eyes even if they aren't as innocent as they once had been they still don't show any kind of experience.

"Genius...?" I quickly press my hand over my mouth to keep myself from uttering another word. I don't want that kid to know I'm going to watch them but it seems that he didn't heard me and that's terrific news to me. It never crossed my mind that Lloyd was going to turn to him this time. I was so used of being just the four of us that I kind of forgot that Genius had actually grown up. He wasn't a small child anymore. Which that makes him Lloyd's new entertainment.

I can see the kid looks nervous, he's blushing awfully and I find him cute. Even after all this years he's still kind of a wimp. I wounder if he'll stutter?

"L-L-Llyod?"

Oh god! He actually did. Such a cute brat.

"Why are you so quiet?" I hear Genius talking again as he lowers he head, getting more nervous.

Lloyd just stays silent. I think he always does that to check if I'm here. I always let myself been notice by him and only him though. The kid knows all about the sharing-Lloyd-system but he doesn't have to know that I watch the 'sharing' part. Not him of any of the others.

But before Lloyd lifts his head to check if I'm around I back off so he can't see me. I don't know why I did. I never cared before so why does it bug me to let him know I'm here? That I'm watching? It's just the brat and he's a virgin the kids going to make it awkward I just know it so instead of being an idiot I going to-

"Not here, huh?" I manage to hear.

"Huh?" That's the brat.

"No, nothing. Come here..." Something's different. Why do I think that his voice sounds so... I don't know. But what I do know is that it's the first time I hear him using that tone. Before peeking I cover my head with the cloak to hide my bright red hair. The whole room isn't really iluminated because it's already night time the only light in the room is coming from a small lamp on the nightstand on the left side of the bed. The upper part where I currently am is pretty dark but one should never be too over-confident.

I didn't miss much as I finally decided to look again. They are just staring at each other, they're right next to the bed. Another weird thing, because Lloyd usually just gets there and gets on to it. Yet this time he's taking his time. Stoking the kid's face making him close his eyes and pressing his cheek against the hand in response. I'm paying special attention to this. Not only it's different because its the first time for those two but also because I know Lloyd hasn't treated anyone like that. Not even Colette.

Then he starts kissing hi-wait what? Kissing. They're _kissing! _Why? I can't... I... he never has willingly kissed me or anyone else. I try to ignore the sudden dull feeling in my chest and continue watching them.

They seem to be enjoying themselves a lot. Genius is nervous as hell but still returns the kiss while Lloyd's hands are roaming freely all over the kid's body. He's slim since he always lacked physical training, typical of a bookworm. His skin is as pale as always and again, bookworm. Too much time under the shade reading instead of running under the sun.... and he's a shorty and... I stopped paying attention because of my mental ranting. I shake my head a little mad at myself for suddenly acting as if I was a jealous wife. As _if_. Now going back to those two...

They're lying on the bed now. Lloyd on top of the brat still kissing. I also notice the kid's vest is missing and his shirt is lift up to his chest where I can clearly see his fair skin and his pink nipples being abuse by Lloyd's hands, making the one underneath him whimper.

I realized that this was actually making uncomfortable. That at some point it was hurting me to watch this, unlike when he did this to the others. Because this was the first time I was seeing giving his whole heart to it. But I still couldn't tear my eyes from it. As the more painful it was getting to watch the more addicted I was becoming to it. I'm such a masochist.

I saw him how he undress him and then did the same with himself. Reassure him when the kid eyed the lotion nervously. Sooth him, kiss him, caress him, fondle him as he stretched him. Enter him, making sure he wasn't hurting him too much, promising that the discomfort will soon go away. Facing each other. I saw him _making love_ to him.

It wasn't 'doing it', it wasn't 'screwing', it wasn't 'fucking'. It was pure loving devotion.

Something that until now I thought that Lloyd wasn't able to do, to feel.

And still. Even if I saw Lloyd caressing him, saying sweet words to him, kissing him. I couldn't find myself being mad at him. Since the beginning I knew a wasn't the one he would chose, but my selfish part was happy to know that the rest weren't the one as well. That was until... this.

"I love you so much."

I pretended I didn't heard him say that. Instead I focus on the kid's face. He didn't seem to be in pain anymore, instead he looked rather pleased with the attention the one above him was giving him to his lower part, whimpering every time he was pounded.

"So... long. I've waited so long for this. For you."

Genius' first response was to blush deeply and a chaste kiss. Next he asked in a low voice that I had trouble hearing. "and the others?"

"It's not the same with them." Of course it's not the same with another person you dimwit.

"Don't you love them?" He whined when Lloyd suddenly stopped his movements.

Actually I want to know too. Do you? do you love us? do you love _me_?

"I do." He answered frankly and I could feel my heart swells.

He re-continues his movements. "But I'm in love with _you_."

Ah, there goes the swelling feeling.

After that confession I just keep watching, not really listening what they said and not really paying attention anymore, I have all the information that I need. As expected from this, he once again did what he usually never does with us. He's now hugging him gently as he kisses his silver hair playing with his braid with his finger, the kid looks tired. After a while Genius falls asleep and Lloyd follows shortly.

As I make sure they're soundly asleep I sneak out of the room and walk all the way towards the kitchen. It must be really late because I don't hear a sound and everything is dark. I help myself with a glass of water and strode to the nearest chair I can find on my way. I finished it in one gulp. Strangely I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I knew I wasn't the one for him, but I thought he wasn't the kind to fall in love. I guess I was wrong this time. I little jealous maybe? It's not fair the brat gets that special treatment. I have my own precious feelings you know? I'm a jewel!

I chuckle. Oh well, at least I know that he loves me. Not the way I would have wanted him to but... it's something.

"Hmm! It's time for bed! If I don't have my beauty sleep it'll the end of my gorgeous face." I say to no one in particular as I stretch my arms. Tomorrow is going to be a new day. Another day where I pretend I don't know anything and put up a smile to every one and make jokes and act like a jerk.

I'm use to it anyways.


End file.
